He was walking around his room, his mind entirely focused on that thing. He couldn't think about something else: every time he tried, he failed. All he tried to focus on was leaded him, by a way or another, to what had happened two days ago.
For a moment, he stopped. But the sensations woke up in his mind, as if it was happening again right now.

"- Shit!!!"

He cursed as he began to walk around again.
That was the only "constructive" thing he could do for the moment in fact.
Why did he act like that?? He didn't know…he had just felt the…need to do it…but now, what will he do?

"- Yaro yaro yaro!!!!"

He was still walking in his room, like a tiger in a too small cage.

I'd better go and tell him…but I can't!! How could I???…But I have to tell him or I'm going to be insane…I can't stay like this anymore…

Without noticing, he had stop walking and sat on his bed. If he was worried, the carpet was happy: he had finally stopped his attempt to kill it…
He fell on his bed and closed his eyes. In front of him, he could see perfectly the small figure that haunted all his dreams. He could only whisper his name, before he felt asleep…

"- Omi…"

*********************

[Two days ago...]

Omi was in the kitchen, cooking their lunch. Yohji-kun had a date this day: he woke up early and spent about a couple of years in the bathroom before he get ready. His date was his last conquest, "Angel"… [^^;;;;;] Funny name for a girl…
Aya-kun was…well, he was somewhere and he probably won't come back before the evening, so, he was alone with Ken-kun…a nice day in perspective…

During lunch, nothing special happened. They talked about some things and others, but that was all.
Oh! And…maybe Ken had looked at him strangely, a little sparkle in his eyes…maybe he had stared at this beautiful face, these sweet lips, so sweet that they would have felt like silk pressed against his, in a long and deep…

"- Ken-kun?!?"

He suddenly went back on earth to see a worried Omi looking at him.

"- Are you ok?
"- Uh? Oh!! Yes of course…
"- Are you sure Ken-kun? You look like something is disturbing you…"
"- No no, I swear, I'm okay…

After he had given him a last "I-know-something-is-bothering-you" look, Omi gave him a smile, sat up, and began to unraise the table.

"- No no Omi!!!!"

Saying that, he had sat up and stopped Omi in his way to do the dishes. In the process, he had touched lightly Omi's hand, but the other hadn't notice…he hoped at least…

"- You cooked, so, I do the dishes!!"

He gave Omi what was supposed to be an innocent smile…It must have been, because Omi smiled in return and made his way to the living room.
Ken felt relieved. Omi's presence had became a torture. Every time he was looking at him, a wave of…"weird" thoughts assaulted him. He perfectly knew that those thoughts weren't normal, even tolerable: they were both male and…and…and Omi was so cute and so sweet…But that was not a raison!!! To think this way about his teammate, his friend, was a wrong one and that was all. Plus, Omi saw him as a friend or as a colleague at least…but certainly not as a possible lover…
He began to murmur slowly as the idea cross his mind…

But if I don't try I…STOP IT YOU BAKA!!!!! He will NEVER feel for you the way you feel for him so stop it right now, it will be better for everyone!!!

While he was fighting with his conscience, he practically polished the plates and the glasses. There was one positive point at least: you can absolutely be sure that they were perfectly clean…

All the afternoon, Omi worked on his computer, while Ken was watching the TV…and took some looks at Omi too…

Until now, all was all right: nothing important happened…But in the evening, all went wrong….

Even if they had had their diner, with Aya who walked upstairs in his room not so long after, and Yohji who seemed very happy of his day, Ken felt like nibble something while he was watching a football match on TV.
He was in the kitchen, looking for something to eat in the placards, when Omi went in.

Ken grabbed a chocolate bar, turned around and when he saw the boy standing practically in front of him, smiling happily, he dropped it on the floor with a little cry of surprise.

"- Oh! Sorry Ken-kun…

And with that, he bent down quickly to pick up the chocolate…but Ken had done the same.

First, they hit their head, but when they finally stood up again…Ken could only plunge his gaze in the beautiful blue eyes…Without exactly knowing what he was doing, he low down his head slowly while he was closing his eyes…he hoped that Omi did something to stop him, but nothing happened…Instead, he could feel the softness of Omi's lips against his…
Before the thoughts of deepening the kiss could cross his mind, he had parted from Omi, murmured a vague "oyasumi", and hurry up upstairs in his room.

*********************

He went upstairs as quickly as he could, without taking care of anything, even Aya, who was on his way and who he practically walked on in the hurry.
He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, letting himself fall slowly to finally sit down on the floor.
His mind was empty. But when he could think again…

How could I do it how could I do it how could I do it???

Finally, he reached his bed, lay down on it, and soon, fell asleep, the softness of Omi's lips accompanying him in his dreams.

*********************

He didn't know how to react. He didn't move. He just stood there, his mind blank. The only thing he could do was to close his eyes. Suddenly, he knew what was going on: Ken's lips…a guy's lips…his friend's lips…on his own…and it felt good…very good…
He was about to open his mouth, and allowed Ken-kun to deepened the kiss, but Ken pushed him away gently, murmured an "oyasumi" and practically run in his bedroom.

He didn't say anything. He just went out of the kitchen, and stared at the stairs, then at Yohji, sat on the couch, incomprehension clearly shown on his face.

"- Hey Omi, what's happened?!?
"- Uh? Oh no…nothing Yohji-kun…nothing…"
"- Are you sure?…hey, Omi!!!"

But Omi didn't reply.
Slowly, without thinking about anything except the light kiss shared with his friend a moment before, he reached his own bedroom.

Omi hadn't expected such a thing. One of his friend had kissed him. Ken had kissed him. It was just a light kiss but…he liked it…
When he entered his room, he went directly on his bed. He lay down on it, and just stayed here, without a move; finally, he felt asleep.

The next day, Ken hadn't talked to him that much. In fact, he avoided him. That was strange: why did Ken-kun keep clear of him like that??? Why did he act as if he wasn't here??? Did he have done something wrong?? He didn't know what it was, but that was the only explanation…and it hurt him so much.

He had dreamt about that kiss for so long...and now that he had had a taste of it, it was gone...
Maybe Ken had change his mind at the last minute...or maybe he was just joking...
Even if Omi couldn't possibly imagine Ken doing that kind of thing...So, he could only conclude one thing: it was because of him that Ken had stopped so brutally...
So, during two days, he questioned himself, searching for an answer that he couldn't find...A lot of suppositions had come to his mind, but in the end, there he was: Ken was angry, and he couldn't change it, even if he wanted to…And for the last two days, Ken acted cold towards him; the rare times he saw him that is...

He was so sad that he had lost his usual smile, and if he did, it was a smile full of pain…

It was Valentine's Day, Yohji-kun had a date and Aya-kun wasn't at home, so he was alone, sat in the couch in the living room.
So much to spend a day like that day....

*********************

All this had happened two days ago, and Ken had barely talked to Omi. In fact, he avoided him, staying the longer he could in his room, or going out without "serious" raisons.
But he couldn't stand it anymore. It was too difficult. If he didn't control himself, he would have run out and take him in his arms and …and…what a stupid thing to do!!!

Today was February 14th, and it didn't help him…That wasn't true: because of Valentine's day, Yohji was going out all the day and maybe more, with that girl…What was her name?? Ah, yeah, "Angel"… [^^;;;;; bis] Aya wasn't there but…no, not because of that day in particular…

He had thought about it all the day (taking well care of avoiding lunch and diner, not to be alone in Omi's company): he had to tell him!! After his little nape full of Omi, that was what he decided…
So, he gathered up all his courage that now was flying away to the Bahamas and opened his door silently. He looked around carefully. No sign of Omi…

Good!!!…Bakaaaaaaa!!! Baka baka baka!!! It's not good at all!! Where can he be?

He silently went out, as if he was a thief. He went downstairs and found Omi there, sitting on the couch.
He wasn't watching the TV; he wasn't listening to music either. He was just there, sitting on the couch…waiting. From where he was, he could see the sad expression aver Omi's face.
Seeing this, Ken felt his heart broke into pieces. If Omi was so sad, it was because of his stupid behaviour.
He couldn't do anything but turn his way round back to his bedroom but…

"- You can stay here….Ken…kun…

His voice was just a whisper, but Ken heard it.
Omi sat up. He was looking at the floor, always this sad look on his face.
He made his way to his own room, without a look at Ken, when a hand grabbed his wrist.

"- I have… to talk to you….please….

His voice was just a whisper, but Omi heard it.
Omi lift his head up, a questioning, sad questioning look in his beautiful eyes.
Ken wasn't able to look straightly at him. It was too hard. The fear of being rejected was there, in each part of his body and soul. The fear of having hurt the one he loved forced him to keep his head down.

"- I…I…"

But he couldn't find the words he needed to explain himself. He wasn't able to think properly, so how could he have spoke?
And even if he could have done so, he was too afraid to say a wrong word and hurt Omi…his Omi…hurt more his Omi…

So, he did the only thing he was sure about. Slowly and gently, as if Omi was in crystal and could be broken with a wrong move, he wrapped his arms around him. He didn't pull Omi close to him. He simply passed his arm around the boy, in that way, if Omi wanted to escape his embrace, he could. But Omi didn't move.
They stayed like that maybe three seconds, maybe an eternity, he didn't want to know. The only thing he focused on was the warmth of Omi's body near to his.
Then, always in the same way, slow and gentle, he tightened a little his embrace, but it just pull them a little closer.
They stayed like that for a moment, but Ken knew they couldn't remain like this for ever. So, he gathered all his courage again and, his eyes still closed, he left a light kiss on Omi's ear lob…then an other one on his neck, and, finally, a third a little lower. These simple touches made him shiver…but it felt so nice…
Omi too had shiver…or was it his imagination? Yes it was that and only that…It would be too…too…he didn't know…it would just be wonderful…but dreaming like that was not the proper thing to do…Seeing the absence of reaction from Omi, he was about to let go off him when…
Omi was smiling. It was just a bright smile, but it was there. When Ken had kissed him, few minutes ago, he had closed his eyes and all the doubts were gone…that's why he had rested his head on Ken's chest…It was strong, but sweet in the same time…It was warm and so comfortable…as he always imagined it would be…
Slowly, as if he was afraid of breaking this moment, he put his arms around Ken, his hands on Ken's back. Now, he was responding to his embrace, pulling them a little closer to each other, stroking gently his back.

*********************

Omi woke up early, as always.
Slowly, he sat up in the bed, trying to chase away the last remaining of sleep off his eyes.
As usual, he looked down beside the bed. He didn't know why, but every night, he dropped one of his pillow out of his bed. He tried everything to stop it, even if it was not important, but every morning, the result was the same.
So, he looked down, ready to pick up the said pillow and…nothing.
He stared a moment at the floor, not understanding….But then he smiled lightly: how could he forget? This morning, he was not in his bed….

[To be continued....Maybe...]

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